Humor in Newspapers

Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
 
In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS 


In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop: 
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?


Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS


Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)  
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR


Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.


Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS


On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
 
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say? 
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter 
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 

Miners Refuse to Work after Death 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 

War Dims Hope for Peace 

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge 

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

 

Write a comment

Comments: 2
  • #1

    Sid (Friday, 08 June 2012 21:07)

    that proofreading joke is very funny. ^O^

  • #2

    Roger (Saturday, 09 June 2012 06:33)

    Yeah - I laughed at almost all of these. But that one is a very good one.